The pain of losing someone close to you can break you from inside and you wish for something, anything, to cheer you up. Here, Amina Ahmed tells you how to move on after a break up
- Love yourself: When your other half suddenly disappears and there is an empty space where he used to be, it is very easy to underestimate yourself. Even if you were the one who called it off, you start thinking discouraging thoughts and your self-esteem seems to hit rock bottom. This is the worst thing to do: you’re already upset about the break up and telling yourself that you’re rubbish isn’t going to help at all. One man once told me: “to love someone else, you must love yourself first.” The only person who really deserves your love and care is YOU.
- Chocolate and Ice-cream: You can search the internet and read books about why chocolate and ice-cream (as well as donuts, cookies and cakes) make you happy. Some will detail how chocolate has a special chemical that triggers happiness while a study might claim that a spoonful of ice-cream lights up the same pleasure centre in the brain as winning money. What do I think? It’s a type of indulgence, it’s yummy and it’s comforting – and that’s what you need when you are sitting on your couch, crying your eyes out.
- Have a night out: The love and comfort of our close friends is the most important support in getting over a break-up. You could have a broken heart or sink into self-pity, but a true friend can still manage to make you laugh. You really get lonely after a break-up and you start telling yourself that you don’t have anyone in this world, or that no-one loves you. Calling your friends or going out with them, making that little effort, will really help cheer you up and show you that you are lovable. Who remembers that scene from Sex and the City when Sarah Jessica Parker is lost in her great depression after a break-up but her friend shitting herself – literally – makes her laugh?
- Buy shoes: Shopping makes us happy. Again, it’s indulging, exciting, and nothing beats the smell of new shoes, so why not? Whether you go for shiny black stilettos or leopard-printed converse shoes, they are bound to make you giddy. And after all the pain you’ve been through, you deserve it.
- Meet family: It’s very easy to take your family for granted. Your parents have always been there for you: when you learnt to walk or when you came back home from school, crying your eyes out because a boy you liked kissed your best friend. They’ll be there for you now as well. It’s time you paid them a visit. And don’t forget to be there for them when they need you.
- Comedy or Jeremy Kyle Show: There are two types of people: ones who feel better after knowing someone else’s life is worse than theirs and those who get even more depressed after watching sob stories. Decide who is going to cheer you up: a comedian with his cheesy one-liners or Jeremy Kyle telling people what rubbish mothers they are.
- Be charitable: Helping others can be a rewarding task so it’s a win-win situation. You make someone happy and you get pleasure out of it yourself too. Lots of charities need volunteers so sign up. It will pass the time as well. There are other ways to lend a hand: take care of a kitten, help your sister shop, smile at a little kid – small things can make a huge difference.
- Read a book: Imagination is a very powerful tool and you use it most whilst reading a book. Immersing yourself into a dream land where everything is perfect is quite magical. It is important to read the right book though so get suggestions from close friends or ask the librarian. In no time you’ll devour the words of a fantastic writer.
- Come out of your shell: “I’ll never love anyone again, ever,” I hear you say. Yes you will. Don’t humour yourself by claiming he was the ‘one’ for you and that you will never be able to look at anyone else like that. You will and you can. There are billions of people out there to choose from so don’t hide away: there’s always someone waiting for you to find them.
- Remember: you’re not the only one: Finally, don’t forget that you’re not the only one with a broken heart, even though it may seem like it at the time. Thousands of girls, and boys, go through the same emotional drama. All we can do is save money to ensure we have truckloads of chocolate and ice-cream to see us through.